My World

The world according to me!

To err is human…

How are you with forgiveness? Me, not so good it seems. If I’ve learned anything from working at my current job, is that I can hold a grunge. If you hurt me, I want you punished. Now don’t get all excited. It’s not so much a public- whipping -while- I -laugh- manically sort of thing. My feelings are a result of seeing what a lack of censure can cause.

I work at a new company, and the set-up is so slip-shod that organization is a chore. People are rarely punished for infractions, and chaos is the order of the day.

I’ve become so desperate for someone to enforce rules, that I’ve do it emotionally. You do something wrong, and I will judge you. Also, I can’t understand how people could forgive each other so quickly, even if it’s a superficial, “Yes, I’ll talk to you as though we’re friends. But I will laugh at you behind your back” kind of thing.

I don’t do that because I consider that kind of behaviour hypocritical. I want you to know that I disapprove of your behaviour and am not willing to forgive unless you repent. OK, starting to sound tyrannical, but emotion-wise it’s true. I have found myself acting this way.

So, how do you forgive? For the minor things; people say, “Just let it go.” What? Whatever, fine, but what about the big stuff; like crime. How do the victims of crime forgive?

For instance, one of the people who killed the American actress Sharon Tate 40 years ago has terminal cancer. Susan Atkins is dying, her doctors give her 3 months to live. Her family applied for her to be released on compassionate grounds, and the judge refused the request.

There was a lot of opposition to  Susan Atkin’s request. Sharon Tate’s sister Debra wrote a letter to the court saying; that this women never apologised for her sister’s murder, so she doesn’t deserve mercy. The Los Angelos District Attorney said Susan tasted Sharon’s blood, and used it to write on the walls. Tate was 8 1/2 months pregnant at the time.

But Susan’s brother is pleading for a sister he thought lost. As Steve Atkins explains, Susan was under the spell of a charismatic leader AND strung out on LSD at the time. He’s begging for an opportunity to spend some time with his sister “to pray with her and give our last good-byes.” I can’t say don’t I feel very strongly for his pain, but I wouldn’t know how to ask the Tate family to forgive Susan Atkins.

And then there’s the tragic case of Aiyana Baksh and Marcus Smith. The couple were part of a hike organised by Hike Seekers to the Heights of Guanapo one week ago.  It was raining heavily that day and the river the hikers had to cross filled up in a manner of minutes. Marcus’ body was found early Monday morning, Aiyana’s a day later. Both were laid to rest over the weekend, and now their families are asking; who’s at fault here?

But my interest isn’t who’s at fault. I’m more concerned with the issue of forgiveness. Should a pastor be laying blame, or should he be trying to help  the family heal? I feel he was out-of-place to say the things he did, that doesn’t seem like Christian behaviour to me.

I depend on and expect my religious leaders to be committed to spreading the Word by their deeds, as well as by what they say. Careless comments like this makes it a little difficult for people of faith to remain so. But then maybe I need to forgive him, because he’s only human. And clearly I need to work on my capacity to forgive, I just haven’t decided how I’m going to as yet.


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